Testosterone Poisoning

My gander, Andy White, has lost his mind. His wife’s new egg-laying domesticity has inflamed his sense of responsibility to insane heights. He screams and flaps his wings and threatens everything indiscriminately, overflowing with pride.

Two days ago he attacked my 1200-pound cow, Katika, as she went down the barn aisle to go outside. As she swayed past Birch’s stall, home of The Nest, he ran at her, hissing, and pinched her udder. She was so startled she did a matronly hop in the air, accidentally bowling him over and stepping on him. He picked himself up, adjusted his clothes, and pretended it was all part of his plan.

I am very careful not to upset him. I walk past him firmly and pay no attention when he grabs my pant’s leg and and experiments with a vicious twist. (It is easy to ignore such things when wearing padded coveralls. Warm weather may bring a change in my response.)

Yesterday at morning chores Andy decided that valor called for keeping all the other creatures from the paddock water trough. He patrolled diligently … goose-stepping.

Mission accomplished! A scream and a victory dance…

We’ll all be glad when hormones subside back to normal levels.

6 Responses to Testosterone Poisoning

  1. Jane Wellker says:

    This reminds me of whatever kind of goose you had in the backyard pen when we were younger. It didn’t like me very much and would come “get” me. I think I remember you opening the pen to “get” me when I was sunbathing one day…! πŸ™‚

  2. Rae says:

    πŸ™‚ My gander is the same way. We’re gathering eggs to put in the incubator, and I have to chase him out of the pen with a shovel and lock him out unless I want a vicious pinch and wing beating (freaking hurts!) while I’m collecting the ladies eggs. Big fat jerk. πŸ™‚

    • adkmilkmaid says:

      Rae, Pilgrim geese are normally mild-tempered, which I really like. I don’t think I could tolerate a Chinese or even a Toulouse. I am not definitely happy when I have to beware of attack by any creature (always male!) during chores.

      I am hoping not to excite my gander’s ire by responding with aggression to his posturing, because I’m hoping not to fix myself in his mind as an enemy. Thus when he pinches my leg while trying to leap and flap at me, I pretend I don’t notice. πŸ™‚

      This is much, much easier for me than for some because I am always wearing thick winter or loose spring coveralls. Also, I’m 5’10” and Pilgrims are smaller geese, so his wing-beating maneuvers are not in my face.

      • Rae says:

        Yeah, my guy is a Toulouse, and I’d be surprised if he isn’t 20lbs or more. He went from being antisocial yet respectful of us, to a raging lunatic once the girls started laying. And I mean hurling himself at us. He’s a bit dangerous when I’m on his level, trying to crawl into the goose house for eggs, so we have to chase him off. He fixes his attentions on the shovel when we’ve got it (almost like he doesn’t see us behind it). πŸ™‚ I’m hoping he regains his sanity after laying season. Regardless, I still like the big jerk. πŸ™‚

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