Conundrum

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How is it that I can get up every day by 4 AM, work non-stop all weekend until I’m physically exhausted, make good progress, and still feel I am losing the race against winter and I’m falling behind?

I try to remain grateful for all my blessings but the non-stop stress is very tiring.

(I had a strange dream last night. To save someone I loved, I had to recite the 23rd Psalm without a single mistake. With huge anxiety, tossing and turning, I labored and groped in fitful sleep to get every word right. When I woke up this morning, all I could think was how much I’d like to tell my father, dead almost 25 years. Dad would have appreciated having a nightmare where rescue depended on the 23rd Psalm.)

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2 Responses to Conundrum

  1. erikamay85 says:

    I think we all feel the same, my dear. Winter is a different kind of work. You are doing wonderfully, though!

    Is there a place where you feel like you can let go and put off for a few months? I butchered an deer this weekend and have a ram to slaughter tommorrow (supposed to be today but I’m too tired from butchering til 4 am then getting up at 7 to do chores! ) I had hoped to build a lean-to off the barn this weekend, move the pigs, cut the fire wood, slaughter and butcher a ram, get more hay and plant bulbs/orchard.

    yeah, not gonna happen. I have to let go of some projects that can happen “later.” I hope you have some tiny things you can let go of and get yourself a chance to breath.

    • adkmilkmaid says:

      Yes, my husband suggests “shorter lists” but it is hard to know what I can let go of when everything feels critical. Thank you so much for your kind understanding.

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