Thursday I drove to Wadhams to pick up 44 free bales of hay that had been used as seating at a hilltop wedding. The couple had planned to return the bales to their local farmer but the wedding was interrupted by a brief shower, ruining the hay (but not the wedding, as a double rainbow immediately appeared over their ceremony). The hay will be mulch for the soil of my back field, which though improving and sweetening bit by bit every year, still has large areas of sour moss.
Of course I could not pass up $100 worth of free mulch hay. However, neither picking up mulch hay nor spreading mulch hay were on the typed, four-page, single-spaced To-Do list I made in late May. (This list includes line items ranging from “burn the burn pile” to “paint the garage.”)
Lucy leaves for college three weeks from today. I’ve taken her for a physical exam and her last vaccinations and an eye exam and new contact lenses. She had her wisdom teeth pulled this week. I’ve filled out and submitted pages and pages of forms. I’ve been teaching her to drive. But I have yet to take her shopping (to one of two cities an hour or two hours away) for clothes or supplies. That wasn’t on my list either.
Meanwhile, some of the work I’ve already done needs doing again. The fences are growing up in weeds and once more need weedwhacking to keep their charge. I mow in the pastures for at least an hour every day, but remain far behind. Ten days ago I began weeding the future garden and made forty feet of progress. Now that cleared bed is re-sprouting and the untouched length is nearly waist high.
DH tells me we will be hosting another party this week and will have more houseguests the week after.
A friend came over yesterday for tea. She was a half hour late and stayed ninety minutes. We had a wonderful talk — the first time ever since we moved to this house that I actually sat by the lake, and we watched a loon fishing, chatted, and laughed — but that two hours hadn’t been in my plan. The cabin knoll did not get fenced.
I know I need to add more relaxation into my life. However it’s hard to make myself slow down when the days are sliding by and I feel so much pressure to speed up.
I look at my list of undone chores and feel a flutter of anxiety in my chest.