I have been looking for someone to run the excavator for me. Well, sort of looking.
Last spring I paid to rent the excavator for a month. We only used it two weeks. Our original plan had been that we would use the remaining time in the fall, when the last of the back acres would be stumped and last bits of rough ground cleared.
Fall is here. My old friend’s health is poor and he can’t come back. I know this, but it’s been hard for me to accept. Somehow in the back of my mind I keep hoping for a different outcome. My DH knows exactly how I feel, but he is also practical and not given to magical thinking.
“He’s not coming back. You need to move on and hire someone new.”
A deep sigh from me.
For the past couple of weeks the school has been excavating all around our apartment. The sound of the excavator has been so familiar. The grind of the bucket on rock. The pulsing alarm when the machine is traveling. The silly horn. (All heavy machines have high-pitched horns that sound like Fisher-Price toys. Perhaps because only something so light and ridiculous would grab your attention on a noisy construction site.) But I know that high beep! from so many jobs. It means: Wake up, dopey! Or: I’m done; your turn to shovel!
Once Jon and I were sitting in our car in the school driveway, waiting for the excavator to finish digging and get out of our way. Having watched a number of men at the controls over the years, and having then worked with someone gifted, I have developed a bit of a connoisseur’s eye.
“He’s not very good,” I said, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
“He’s young,” Jon observed patiently.
I know I need to find someone. My friend’s son, who has a lot of his father’s talent, is not available. I asked Fred, who operated a bulldozer for me this spring, if he could operate an excavator.
“I can get by running the machine,”” he replied, “but I am no Allen, by no means.”
DH broached the subject at a party with someone we know. This man has worked many large machines. He is a nice guy. I should have been pleased. Instead I was slightly grouchy with DH afterward.
I know change is going to happen. I also know change can be positive. But in my present mood I am not looking forward to it.